By Ali Suleman

January 4, 2011

“We are giving a three-day deadline to the government to respond on our nine-point agenda. If it agrees to these points it would have to implement this agenda in the next 45 days otherwise it will not remain in the Punjab government,” former prime minister Nawaz Sharif said after presiding a meeting of the central organising committee of the PML-N.

(Express Tribune)

Point 6 of the above mentioned 9-point agenda: “Government should reduce its expenses up to 30% and Ministerial cabinet may be down sized.”

February 4, 2011

The top decision-making body of the ruling Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP) decided on Friday to dissolve the cabinet. “President Asif Ali Zardari has given the authority to Prime Minister Yousaf Raza Gilani to dissolve the cabinet whenever he wants,” PPP Secretary-General Jahangir Badar told a news conference after the meeting of the PPP’s Central Executive Committee (CEC). “All the ministers have submitted their resignations to the president,” he added

(Express Tribune)

February 5, 2011

Leader of opposition in the National Assembly and PML-N leader Chaudhary Nisar Ali Khan has said that dissolution of the cabinet is not enough for good governance, Geo News reported on Saturday. In a statement, [a PML-N leader] said that for good governance it is vital to change the way of governance, adding that there is need to chalk out the policy that reflect morals and transparency.

(The News)

February 18, 2011

A leader of Pakistan Muslim League (Nawaz) and leader of Opposition in the Parliament has said that merely changing the way of governance cannot ensure good governance. “Good governance is something the ruling party should be focusing on, in whose hands is the entire federal executive. Theawam won’t be bamboozled anymore. We need some concrete change in the government. Fresh elections are the only solution to the mess the government has created!” he said.

April 2, 2011

“Just by winning the world cup, Pakistan’s image cannot be improved around the world. The government needs to take concrete steps to do that” said a leader of PML-N.

March 7, 2011

“Just by announcing elections, it doesn’t mean the elections have actually happened. I doubt the government’s intentions. Their policies have always been anti-Pakistan. Let’s see how they break this new election promise” said a leader of PML-N.

May 22, 2011

“Just by conducting elections, a better Pakistan cannot be possible. The same faces again? That’s ridiculous! What’s the use of the elections now? The elections have to be free and fair with an independent and impartial election commission. Otherwise this country cannot survive. And I mean it!” warned a leader of PML-N.

May 28, 2011

“So what if the interim government has announced reelections? I still doubt their intention. Oh, and a happy Yaum e takbeer to everyone! Mian sahib zindabaad!” declared a leader of Pakistan Muslim League, Nawaz.

June 17, 2011

“We have seen a reelection and a new government forming as a result. But that doesn’t make any difference. A change of system is required, not just a change of faces. And that can occur only when our party comes into power! Oh come on, isn’t it obvious?” questioned a Pakistan Muslim League (Nawaz) leader.

August 6, 2011

“Alhamdulillah, PML-N have shown their mettle once again and have come to secure Pakistan. I believe in the leadership of Mian Nawaz Sharif and am sure he can deliver to the deprived and downtrodden people of the country.” promised a leader of PML-N.

August 29, 2011

“Just by appointing certain incompetent ministers as per will, an effective cabinet cannot be guaranteed. Where are the loyal people who have served for the party for more than 25 years? Where are the people who have true knowledge about how the interior affairs are run in this country? Where are the people whose names start with a Chaudhry and end with a Khan?” inquired a leader of PML-N while talking to a press conference outside the Parliament.

November 18, 2011

“No, no, no, this isn’t happening. Sorry state of affairs, I must say. The government is certainly not delivering. What if the fuel prices have decreased by 70%, and electricity supply is finally equal to the demand, and roti is available throughout the country at Rs. 2? I myself saw a two-year old crying with tears yesterday on a TV news channel! Unless we provide relief to theawam, nothing is going to happen.” said the Chairman of Pakistan Muslim League (Nisar).

January 7, 2012

“So what if Pakistan has finally received two more Nobel Prizes, both in the same year 2011? I mean, come on! Give me a break! Without addressing to the real problems of the people, the government cannot claim anything! I wish the army to take over and clean up the mess the politicians have created.” Chaudhary Nisar Ali Khan, Chairman PML-(Nisar) told the media.

January 8, 2021

“Go dictator, go! Go dictator, go!” shouted a political activist outside the President house in a rally staged by Pakistan Muslim Leage (Democratic) to demand the ‘dictator’ to leave.

March 29, 2021

“Finally an elected democratic government has been formed in the country. I, on the behalf of Pakistan Muslim League (Nisar), assure full support to the government to carry on the democratic process.” assured a leader of PML-(Democratic).

May 8, 2021

“The cabinet is too large and must be cut to size! I have given a 10-day ultimatum to the government to do so, otherwise we’ll quit the ruling coalition and that’s final!” said the Chairman of PML-(Nisar).

Disclaimer: The article is a political satire.

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