The Defenders

By Tamoor Zafar

We are so used to listening to and believing in these politicians, they show their faces and defend their political parties and their fused leaders on TV, no matter how serious the issue is they will come up with some kind of defence but no shame and we still listen to them, let’s call these representatives the Defenders. These Defenders love to use precedents from the West.

I always feel that If I could be there I could present a better defence, as I cannot be at two places at once therefore I came up with this idea to write some Western precedents which can provide defence to the Defenders on different issues.

Nowadays a very common question the Defenders are facing is the question of the violation of sovereignty of Pakistan because of the NATO forces and the American drones, they can defend bay saying that America is not even respecting the sovereignty of  its NATO allies and other European Union countries which are stronger than Pakistan, these countries cannot raise figures when America did surveillance on them through their National Security Agency (NSA) and collected data on government departments and on their subjects.

In addition to this, they can say that we are helpless in front of American drones; even the countries like France, Spain and Portugal did not let the Bolivian President plane use the airspace as they were suspecting that the plane might be carrying ‘fugitive’ (Edward Snowden) whistleblower of NSA.

In case  the new Pakistani government has to tape the phones of some difficult opposition politicians or whosoever for that matter, they can do the same and the Defender can defend that the police of cities like London does the same to keep the ordinary men safe on the streets in the ‘guise of providing them victim support’.

The new government is too intelligent and progressive; bullet train was one of their election slogans for the ‘Asian Tiger’, in case the media raise the questions that we are lacking far behind in basic infrastructure, we need to invest more in education and providing basic health facilities to our people, this can easily be defended by saying that Brazil has similar issues but they are still hosting football world cup and spending millions of dollars building stadiums, and meeting other requirements set up by FIFA. Need not to mention that there were protests by millions of Brazilians on the streets of their two metropolitan cities, even if someone mentions this awkward fact, the Defenders can say that  they do not expect more than a couple of thousands of non patriotic Pakistani coming on the street against such a beneficial project.

Whenever our governments get loans and grants from International Monetary Fund (IMF) or similar organisation, and they have to increase the taxes to meet the repayments, it always faces all sorts of challenging questions; the defence is so simple for that. The Defenders can rebut and say look what is happening in Greece and what is going to happen in Portugal, Ireland, and Spain. They can also mention the austerity measures being taken in Britain by the government.

But they do not have to mention that there are countries which have paid off IMF loans and they do not have to bear the burden of onerous terms and conditions of the organisations that’s ex-chief had to face the charges related to ‘aggravated pimping’.

The Defenders may be asked a question on the issue of receipt of grants and subsidised agreements signed with China, they should not go into details and not to confuse themselves, they should say that China is now the second biggest economy of the world and may be the number one soon and China is investing millions and billions of funds in super mega projects in Africa so there’s nothing wrong if we get something from the petty cash, of course we shall return the favour whenever China will ask for the same.

In our political arena, there is another common scandal where we often see the incidents that someone who is influential has sold his property (most commonly land) to a government agency for a higher than its market value, if somehow these scandals come in media and the Defenders are asked questions about that, they can easily escape the grilling of the media by saying that a similar kind of incident happened in France when a businessman, Bernard Tapie, was paid £342m by then French Finance Minister. The Minister made that payment in 2007 and, the matter is once again under investigations and being heard in French courts in 2013. They can say that they will take the issue to the courts and they will accept whatever the courts will decide.

We have seen that our member of parliaments claim for number of unnecessary expenses and face the question of not leaving the MPs hostels, if they have to answer these silly question they can mention the infamous scandal of British MPs’ expenses scandal and their use of their children to claim expenses. And if our newly elected Pakistani MPs want a pay rise, it is a very good time to use the precedent of pay rise proposal of £10,000.00 a year for British MPs.

The Defenders who think that Pakistani military has taken the dose of SATTO or DHUNIYA; they can draw its attention to the Egyptian Army.

Last but not least if someone has been alleged of sexual offences please look into Berlusconi’s affairs, the Defenders will find excellent defence.

I hope the Defenders would appreciate my efforts which I have undertaken voluntarily.