A conversation with a constitutional Kaafir

Balal Haider

Ahmadis are constitutional Kaafirs in Pakistan. The best part is Pakistan is the only country in the world which proudly presents us with such a Politico-Religious categorization of its people. Below is a conversation from a daily life of a constitutional Kaafir (CK) and Radicalized Constitutional Muslim (RCM)…

CK: “Asalam o Alikum my dear friend”

RCM: ” Yala Harama, you go to jail, how dare you speak the words which sends peace to me, you!!, let me call the police station.”

CK: “I am so sorry my friend I am just used to spreading peace and teachings of love. I am sorry to have offended you, Let me do some Astagfar.”

RCM: ” Toba Toba, you are using an Arabic word, how dare you act like a muslim”

CK: ” I am sorry, I have been taught to ask for forgiveness by using the word Astagfarullah rabi, from now on I will use Urdu.”

RCM: ” Again you act like a muslim, I am calling the police.”

CK: ” Sir what wrong have I done? I am a normal guy looking just like you wearing the same shalwar kameez like u.”

RCM: ” How dare you dress up like a muslim? You are going to burn in Jail in this world and in hell after you die.”

CK: ” Sir I like Shalwar Kameez, its our national dress, I love being a Paksitani.”

RCM: ” You being a Pakistani, its a shame, you people were against the creation of Pakistan and are British agents.”

CK: ” Sir Mirza Bashiruddin Mahmood Ahmed was then main figure in the All India Mulsim league, Chaudary Zafarullah Khan was First Foriegn Minister and Dr Abdus Salam first Mulsim Nobel prize winner, all were Ahmadis, we are patriotic.”

RCM: ” How dare you call Abdus Salam musllim he was a mercenary he does not belong to the muslim world. By the way I forgot to ask you your name what is it?

CK: ” Allahyar”

RCM: ” This is disgraceful how can you even keep the name of Allah, we own him you cannot act like muslim. You are going to jail now.”

CK: ” Sir what are the things that I can do? what rights do I have?

RCM: ” You can act like non muslims, drink, dance, enjoy life but do not come near Islam.”

CK: ” So practically constitutional muslims are actually pushing people away from Islam rather than coming close to it. ”

RCM: ” You disgrace you call muslims are ruining Islam, now you must die, you are wajibul qatl. Say your last words before I shoot you.”

CK: ” Sir dont worry, I have already stopped breathing, I am sure this is also act which muslims do, so I must do the opposite. Good Bye.”

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