By Pari Zara
It is said that love occurs, and that there is such a thing as love at first sight, or love between the lines, or love in a couple of meetings, or long lost love. There are so many variations of it that I shudder to think of the consequences’ love puts women and men through on a daily basis. Call me a cynic but I believe that love causes more damage and destruction to the human civilization – and to one’s heart.
And it doesn’t stop there, then there is always the concept of soul mates: the idea that there is someone made for you out there roaming the world and somehow you are destined to find them. Some people believe that there are more than one soul mates. I find the latter theory to be more practical although I rest in the arms of the former one.
Now I will tell you the story of love, it starts with a look, boy meets girl, girl and boy like each other, something we refer to as “chemistry” takes place probably because they lose so much chemicals in their brain that after the first sight they are dehydrated. There eyes meet and conservative societies usually the boy makes the first move, first he would be a smooth operator, then he would make small talk with the girl, ask for girl for her number, or add her on FaceBook. Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to 2015.
Then there is the courtship phase, whether it be through love or arranged marriage, the girl makes sure she has Dior or Chanel scent on her, my preference is sadly not Pleasures ladies it’s Diorissimo. The boy will turn wearing Armani or Dolce & Gabbana. Or scented copies made of these, in warehouses of Anarkali shipped to Liberty.
Now comes the poetry and prose, which the couple writes to each other, or usually rips of from famous erstwhile folk. Suddenly Khalil Gibran, Iqbal, Faiz, Ghalib all become the lover’s best friends. Shakespeare is quoted like it was written by the lovers themselves for e.g. one of my friends wrote “A rose is a rose which by any other name would smell as sweet.” In the courtship period there is nothing that you can tell the couple to tear them apart. It’s simply like Romeo and Juliet, Soni and Mahiwal and also the old romances because usually such situations happen in the late teens early twenties when hormones are high.
Then all that can be said by the hands and eyes is said, and all that can be understood by the wise is understood. People on low budgets go to for Paparri Chat, the detestable elite dine at Cosa Nostra or Tiramisu or Butlers, or at Avari and P.C.
But, fellow listeners, in comes reality and with it, what is called family and society and in a country such as Pakistan you don’t marry the person, you marry the family. When it comes to marriage, either party chicken’s out, or is forced to marry someone else. Those five senses soon become attuned to someone else, what a tragedy, and for the one’s who do get together; their lives are not made easier by the in-laws.
One of my friends got married in a lavish manner to an industrialist family. The son was a wannabe Casanova, and he maintained his visits to the other world. My friend hired a detective to follow him. In came the sense of jealousy. Then she divorced him. But she is lucky, she comes from a rich family and is beautiful and is a nice person so soon she met someone nice and got re-married, being a wise lady. She now has a successful business of her own and a great family life. However, this is a rare case, I see more and more girls getting separated or divorced these days. Another acquaintance who herself was wealthy married rich but there were signs even before her wedding that the guy was a complete asshole. Once when they were having a heated argument, she asked him to let her get out of the car and he left her there, stranded. Chivalry, my readers is dead. She still went and married the guy and apparently caught him cheating on her, which is when she filed for divorce. Now she is one of one of the most beautiful people I know, but I’m not sure if she is the happiest.
That’s why it’s best to remain a single person, unless the boy you intend to marry is not a boy, he is a man, who can stand by you through thick and thin. We wish for the wedded couple a prosperous future. They famous Urdu poet Munir Naizi, once told me when I was young that in Pakistan when someone says Inshallah it means the deed will not be done! I am I cynic like my mentor but Inshallah I hope not all of love and it’s five senses go disarray.