A person can change but only under one condition

By: Hafsa Sarfraz

A person’s imperfection which we sometimes insistently try to point a finger at, really hurts. All the special behavioral models are just psychological protection against wounds inflicted on our soul. It’s only thoroughly developed strategies which allow us to comfortably exist in this world with others. Most of people truly believe that love is so powerful that it can change a person.

We can say that a person can change but only under one condition-when they themselves want to change. Sometimes we probably think that we will become their motivation – for one’s sake they will want to change? Never so one should not get their hopes up. Your influence is like the weather outside. A person will adjust to you and take the umbrella in case of foul weather. But no one will be able to change their own beliefs or even alter the structure of their personality just because of a cloudy sky. Only if that person suddenly find themselves fundamentally unsatisfied, when they feel dreary in the rainy weather or that the sweltering heat becomes unbearable for them. Only when they’re are fed up being unhappy and unsuccessful then they will think about change and only then changes do become possible.


As a rule, someone who is always there for us becomes the main reason of our failures. But it will take long for another person to understand with whom everything bad in our lives begins. Someone once said that “The best thing we can do for our beloved ones is to give them a large portion of himself”. It’s neither anger nor revenge. It is just a conviction that a person has right to be who he is. Real love is not to desire a person but to truly desire a person’s happiness-sometimes, even, at the expense of our own happiness. Real love is not to make a carbon copy of one’s self.


The truth is we all are alone but usually this knowledge come late to most of us. The best thing we can do is to change ourselves not others. Even our temporary relationships don’t give us right to change a person. We are responsible for only ourselves. We are born separately and will leave by ourselves. The best thing we can do in our life is to become a creator of our own destiny. By your own achievements and changes you can motivate the other people to change as well. After a while you will be surrounded by the people whose ways are similar to your ways.