By Bushra Zia
We maintain direct eye contact to keep it all real. I smile at times but he doesn’t. I sway on his directions. I know exactly what he wants from me. We meet every night and have meaningful conversations without wasting a single word. We have a special connection and we know each other way too well!
He says my sweet face reminds him of someone and that does not seem to bother me at all. I like that we share history together. He looks at me from head to toe with a straight face and I keep swinging and swaying on his favorite songs. As bizarre as it may sound, we exchange this intimate moment in a public place. There are others in the room, enjoying our nontraditional fairy-tale but only if you were in my shoes, would you have seen how the presence of one person overshadows everything else.
I enjoy helping him reminisce his past. There is a weird pleasure in being around those who had once dared to love somebody. I can see his wounds and all those not so well hidden scars. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t seek pleasure in other people’s pain. It’s incredible how one wounded soul can so effortlessly recognize another. I do not flaunt my body just for his pleasure, I do it for mine too.
While we bond over these moments of shameless stares and teasing music, he reminds me of someone from my past. A man who wanted me for all the same reasons. I was too young and scared to say no, so he had his way with me every other weekend. It was a game we played and he always won. I see his face in this oddly man. I see him wanting me the same way. Only this time around, I set the rules. I let him watch but never touch. The more he suffers, the more I flaunt my body. He can stare all he wants but he’ll never get his way.
You see why I enjoy this so much? I have all the control here and I run the show. This sensation is more enticing than anything else.
As the night passes, he loses his consciousness to several bottles of rum and I leave the stage feeling like a queen. I am an independent woman who lives in the city of skyscrapers, travels back home every three months and take good care of my aging parents, I have money and I have power, I am a dancing doll of Dubai and I am very much admired.
This article was originally published on Bushra’s personal blog