I am single — not a ‘leftover’

Courtesy: Tribune

by Tanzeela Ahmed

From the moment a baby girl starts crawling, her family, especially her mother, is inclined to dream of her daughter’s matrimony. Her family keeps repeating to her that one day she has to go “Aglay Ghar” and a girl’s whole life is consumed in figuring out to which home she actually belongs.

It’s the 21st century but how disappointing it is that majority of women around the globe are still deprived of the status of human being. Being human, women surely have right to live up their dream life the way they wish to…are they not? I wonder why women are more susceptible when it comes to marriage. For a girl, why getting married as early as possible is so much decisive even when she is not at all ready for it and holds some other valuable plans for her own life?

We all know that commodities not fully sold in season are set on “off season grand sale”. This is just to get rid of the leftover stock that not in soaring demand anymore. People rush to grab their favorite piece on discounted price. It sounds pretty fancy for costumes, footwear, accessories and other consumer items. But the truth is people nowadays have started to perceive women as commodities too! If a girl doesn’t rush to marriage in her early twenties, and somehow reaches the age of thirty or thirty plus, she is considered a leftover.

Marrying the right person can altogether change one’s life. How ironic is it that our proclaimed well-wishers out there are more concerned about our marriage? It is pragmatic that society and close connections are more inclined to your marriage rather than you. If you are not married on time, they will try their level best to make you feel awkward and unwanted. And it becomes more complicated when your family actually reacts to these well-wishers tittle-tattle, and makes you accountable and fretful. At times a girl is abused to the extent that she is forced to marry any random unsuitable guy from the available options in hurry, thus ending up turning her life into hell.

Situations turn nastiest when an educated, good looking, noble and sophisticated girl is single for a long time. All her capabilities and accomplishments are blow up in no time when she is judged as a leftover. Everyone out there become a question mark, so eager to give an earful and poke their noses in other’s life affairs. “Hey, have you got engaged? Any good news? Is there any proposal in consideration? When are you getting married?” Gosh, too much to answer. Why don’t people think that such questions are a serious psychological torment?

Age is just a number and getting married is very much a personal matter of one’s life. Pardon me but I don’t believe in an ideal and exact age philosophy of marriage. By the way, what’s the best age to tie the knot? Well, no one can truly define and judge it better than the pertinent person itself.

Forced relationships are totally based on the spirit of sacrifice as well as compromise, and don’t bring any sort of contentment in life. The point to ponder is that at the end of the day it’s the nuptial that has to survive and live up the new bond, not the society. Marriage is not larger than life; it’s a part of life.

  • Kamath

    Yes. She is single, virtuous, smart, beautiful else . a, gift of God.